The Goonies 'R' Good Enough: A Goonie's Journey to the Goondocks
August 2013
On August , 1985, we were introduced to The Goonies and the adventure of a lifetime for any kid who was lucky enough to grow up with it as one of their coming-of-age films. A treasure map came alive on screen, and the filmmakers invited us to take temporary residence in the "Goondocks," the familiar term placed upon Astoria, Oregon. Fortunately for fans, Astoria is real, which makes the Goondocks real, which means there may still be a chance of spotting One Eyed Willie's Inferno pirate ship sailing in the distance, right? Growing up Goonie, I wanted to espouse philosophies like Mikey, eat Baby Ruth's with Chunk, swing like Errol Flynn with Sloth, and set off "booty" traps. Once I learned that two of my all-time favorite movies were filmed in the same region of Oregon, I knew one day I had to visit and trace their footsteps.
Here's the ultimate guide to being a Goonie.
The gift shop is small and at first, I feared disappointment. I couldn't come home without swag, but sure enough, there is was. A glossy paper replica of the map! It may be cheap, it may not be replicated to feel like ancient parchment, but I don't care. I mean, it even has the music notes printed on the back. The Oregon Film Museum gets it. (on baby ruth label)
Not gonna lie, if I could've cozied up against that window, I would've happily smashed pizza and strawberry milkshake all over me for the sake of authenticity. The children's birthday party going on around me would've had built-in entertainment! Can't you just see the police chase?
Here's the ultimate guide to being a Goonie.
The gift shop is small and at first, I feared disappointment. I couldn't come home without swag, but sure enough, there is was. A glossy paper replica of the map! It may be cheap, it may not be replicated to feel like ancient parchment, but I don't care. I mean, it even has the music notes printed on the back. The Oregon Film Museum gets it. (on baby ruth label)
Not gonna lie, if I could've cozied up against that window, I would've happily smashed pizza and strawberry milkshake all over me for the sake of authenticity. The children's birthday party going on around me would've had built-in entertainment! Can't you just see the police chase?
Time Spent: Give yourself at least two hours to track down all of the spots, adding time for gazillions of photo ops.
Soundtrack: "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough" by Cyndi Lauper
Increase the fun: Make like Senor Walsh's sexual torture device room (Spanish for "attic") and amp up the fun by playing composer Dave Grusin's "Fratelli Chase" score in your head throughout the entirety of your adventure. Guaranteed to make car chases, photo op crawls, and reading this post that much more exciting.
Soundtrack: "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough" by Cyndi Lauper
Increase the fun: Make like Senor Walsh's sexual torture device room (Spanish for "attic") and amp up the fun by playing composer Dave Grusin's "Fratelli Chase" score in your head throughout the entirety of your adventure. Guaranteed to make car chases, photo op crawls, and reading this post that much more exciting.
These are some of the art pieces that were on display, featuring classics like "Ren & Stimpy", "Legends of the Hidden Temple",
"Rocko's Modern Life", "Rugrats", "GUTS", "Double Dare", and more! So cool, right?
"Rocko's Modern Life", "Rugrats", "GUTS", "Double Dare", and more! So cool, right?
The show drew a packed house all night, and DJ Lance from "Yo Gabba Gabba!" saluted some shorts while he spun.
Every 30 minutes, one lucky raffle winner's lifelong dream of getting SLIMED came true! This is photographic "Happy Happy Joy Joy," is it not?
Look who I found! Here's "Salute Your Shorts" buddies Steve Slavkin (Triple threat: Dr. Kahn, Creator, & Executive Producer)
and Michael Bower (Donkeylips), Danny Tamberelli ("The Adventures of Pete & Pete") and the man who gave us
"Glenn Coco? Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco!", Daniel Franzese!
and Michael Bower (Donkeylips), Danny Tamberelli ("The Adventures of Pete & Pete") and the man who gave us
"Glenn Coco? Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco!", Daniel Franzese!
Undoubtedly my favorite aspect of the evening (or any evening, for that matter) was the epic photo op, inspired by one of Nick's highest-rated shows ever, "You Can't Do That on Television". Step one: Zone in on your props of choice, and tackle anyone who stands between them and you. Kidding! Aside from the perfect color coordination with my Blue Barracudas team spirit, I went straight for the "Double Dare" helmet, because DUH.
Annette brought her own adorable "Wild & Crazy Kid" Preston,
who as you can see, takes photo ops as seriously as I do. Can you believe we're already into 2nd generation Nick?!
who as you can see, takes photo ops as seriously as I do. Can you believe we're already into 2nd generation Nick?!
Hey, Ug! The campers are out of their bunks!
Can we take a moment to talk about how there was a Patty Mayonnaise shirt?!
There was a Doug costume, too, and had I discovered that pre-pose, you can bet I would've made
Trevor my cartoon counterpart. Though I can't go wrong with Sponge and Stick at my side ;)
There was a Doug costume, too, and had I discovered that pre-pose, you can bet I would've made
Trevor my cartoon counterpart. Though I can't go wrong with Sponge and Stick at my side ;)
The gang's all here: We couldn't do this on television, but we did it anyway thanks to iam8bit!
So much fun with Michael, Venus, Trevor, Jessica, and fellow Nick lovers!
So much fun with Michael, Venus, Trevor, Jessica, and fellow Nick lovers!
I was not brave enough to try for the chair this time,
but clearly I HAD to experience the slime for myself. The verdict? Give me a "Double Dare" or "What Would You Do?" challenge stat, because my dream is still very much alive. You hear me, Marc Summers? Look over to your right, and you'll see a list of other rights, ones declared to us by Nickelodeon so many years ago. Like these inalienable (and awesome) doctrines, our nostalgia for Nickelodeon will stand the test of slime. Er...time. Thanks, iam8bit for being a great host! |